Going Dutch

Neighbours. As the song goes; everybody needs good neighbours. And short of getting Kylie to move in next door to you, what more could a person ask than to share the delights of Spain with like-minded hispanophiles from across Europe?

Of all our mainland European neighbours I have long felt that the Dutch are closest to the Brits in terms of personality, character and sense of humour. To be fair, that's maybe not too difficult with the French and Germans as the main competition but, even so, your typical Hollander speaks excellent English, they actually like the Brits and (I rest my case m'lud)........they play cricket.

I have always liked the Dutch. As a child I remember we hosted a couple from our twin-town Cuijk who travelled with members of the town band to help celebrate Maldon's (my home town in Essex) 800 years as a Borough. We made them repay the compliment a year or two later by turning up, unannounced, at their front door in Cuijk where they graciously fed the four of us and their eldest boy gave me a football magazine about the then European Cup champions AFC Ajax. The magazine was in Dutch so I couldn't decipher a word of it but it was probably over 40 years before I eventually parted company with it as part of the "you're-fifty-odd-you-never-look-at-them-they-take-up-too-much-room" final reckoning for my football programme collection. Anyway, it's funny how little acts of kindness and generosity stick with you. The meal by the way was excellent although they wouldn't tell us what it was we had eaten. Later we twigged it was probably horse steak which actually wouldn't have fazed us but they probably felt best to keep schtum, just in case.

More latterly I have enjoyed professional dealings over several years with the Dutch staff at the European base of a US company based near Kerkrade in the little testicle that is South East Holland (check it out on a map, near Maastricht and you'll see what I mean). They are lovely people. So you get what I'm saying. We like the Dutch and therefore it was a pleasure to invite round our Dutch neighbours Jason and Kylie last night for some beer tasting. 

Now, it turns out that wherever I go in Europe the beers generally are stronger than we might typically find back home in the UK so the 3.8% to 6.6% range of ABV's we had in store for Jason and Kylie were never likely to faze them. In fact, with Jason having only recently fallen off his boat into the marina and with both of them needing rescuing from the sea by lifeguards three days earlier, I was beginning to suspect that our beer tasting session might actually help sober them up. So, we started off with Mahou IPA (4.5%) and worked our way through Cruzcampo IPA (5.5%), San Miguel's Yakima Valley American IPA (6.1%), Tyris VIPA (3.8%), Damm Inedit (4.8%) and Damm's Complot IPA (6.6%), all of which accompanied by a very acceptable selection of tapas produced by Kylie and Mrs C. 

Of the six different beers we tasted, only two have not previously been pronounced upon by this blog, they being the Damm Inedit and Yakima Valley. The Inedit is a malt and wheat beer brewed with spices and apparently created by Ferran Adria, the world's most award winning chef. Well, I've never heard of the bloke before but if he likes creating tasty beer then that's okay by me and the Inedit is indeed a very tasty and enjoyable beer. The tasting notes describe it as intense and complex on the nose....its sweet spices and fruity notes combine with fresh yeastiness and flowery sensations....the infusion of coriander, liquorice and orange peel permeates the impression on the palate....its subtle, well-integrated carbonation perfectly highlights these tastes in the mouth....it is creamy, soft and versatile in food pairings....long pleasant aftertaste. And you know what? It's all that. Maybe not one to throw down your neck in a session but rather one to bring out to complement a fine dining experience. So you would think (hope possibly?) that an offering from the brewing giant that is San Miguel might rather pale by comparison but you would be wrong. For me, the Yakima Valley IPA is the find of our four month Covid-enabled Spanish sojourn. Already on my second can as I write this and with google translate apparently on a break, all I can tell you from the San Miguel website notes is that they describe Yakima Valley as refrescante y aromatica. Well, trust me, they are doing it a huge injustice. It is bloody delicious.

And what of Jason and Kylie I hear you ask. Well, they just sank everything we threw at them. The Inedit went down particularly well with Kylie and Mrs C but, to be fair, so did everything else. And as suggested above, we were probably doing them a favour anyway by sobering them up . Anyway, the beer and conversation flowed and by the end of the evening, it was clear that the Brits and the Dutch are indeed European cousins whereas the French and Germans probably only qualify as second cousins (twice removed?). Herman (he from Calblanque - see previous blog) misses the cut completely.

Less than 24 hours after our rather splendid evening came to an end, Jason reported in that his techfoon is kapot. Allow me to translate. Jason is probably back on his 9% Affligem beer and has fallen off his boat again but this time his i-phone has gone with him. The Dutch eh? You just gotta love 'em.

Just Not Cricket!

Tasty IPA  beers in Spain make me happy. Sad
pervy inadequates on Calblanque beaches do not.

Calblanque Regional Park is an area of outstanding natural beauty which just happens to be pretty much on my doorstep. The park boasts stunning landscapes and a wonderful array of unspoilt coves and beaches. The area is of "high ecological and naturalistic interest....with interesting plant communities and a remarkable wildlife value, as well as diverse ecosystems". Read that carefully. It says "naturalistic", not "naturistic". But somewhere along the line someone decided that the beaches also present a "wonderful opportunity to doff off, get your todger out and march around like a bit of a dick". Hmmm. I mean, it's just not cricket is it?

Now, I may be a Brit - stiff upper lip and all that - but I have no particular problem with naturism. I know that some of the Calblanque beaches attract nude sunbathers and it doesn't take a great deal of effort or initiative to find your own space, away from the often middle-aged, flabby enthusiasts and closer to those more inclined to keep their pads on and private bits private. In fact, even without current social distancing considerations, it is perfectly possible to locate a suitable position in the outfield on a Calblanque beach, well away from the inner ring, with sufficient distance  to warrant a good pair of binoculars if you really, really want to be offended. So, what exactly is my beef (perhaps not the best expression)? Well, I'll tell you........it's the sad, weirdy-beardy inadequates that make a point of marching up and down the full length of the beach, wearing nothing but a hat, a pair of sandals and a rucksack, making sure that you don't miss out on their tiny set of bales. 

I remember a saying from many years ago that "nude women look better with clothes on". I will leave it up to the reader to determine whether or not they agree with this statement but I will add just two things. One; it is only ever men that feel the need to march naked up and down those beaches occupied by the more circumspect amongst us and two; nude men absolutely definitely look better with clothes on.

On one particular day last week, we were treated to four Dick Dastardlys in two hours. Dick no.1 was mid-60's, beard/hat/sandals/rucksack and he even said "hola" to us as he passed, turning slightly towards us as he did so thus ensuring that there was no chance we would miss the show. Dick's nos. 2 and 3 were marching on together (to Leeds perhaps?), a generation younger than Dick no.1, both a little hunched in stature but with the obligatory beard/hat/sandals/rucksacks and, to be fair, looking a bit like your typical real ale geeks (maybe they can't be all bad?) shuffling past us looking a bit sheepish whilst pretending unconvincingly that this was the most natural thing in the world for them to be doing. Dick no.4 was (for I have named him) Herman who was early 60's (?); most disturbingly not only did Herman have no beard on his face but Herman had no beard anywhere else. There it was, Herman's bat swinging freely, unencumbered. It was very off-putting I can tell you.  Surprisingly, Herman then abandoned the beach, clambering up the rocks to then continue his mission, still swinging, on one of the marked Calblanque trails. One can only hope that a dog walker with a hungry pooch was somewhere close-by. We actually saw Herman a few days later, walking along the beach........fully clothed. Maybe he doesn't like dogs? I would bet my mortgage that he doesn't like cricket.

Whilst googling Calblanque, I came across a review of one of the Calblanque beaches on a "nakation" website which, it transpires (it took me a few seconds), means naked vacation. Perhaps an enthusiastic advocate of beach nakedness might take a different view on such matters? "The beach was gorgeous........however stay clear of the cove to the right of this beach........it was here that I saw two men having sex and then got wanked at by a lone male. Honestly, what is it with some people!"

It isn't just me then. My faith in naturists in general is restored. Your genuine naturist likes to doff off and sunbathe. And that's it. Some of 'em might even like cricket. It is the sad little pervy inadequates who like to show off that give the genuine naturists a bad name.

So then Dick's 1,2,3 and 4. We all agree. You really are sad little full tossers. And the next time you want to take a beach hike, put on your budgie smugglers. That way, we'll still all know that you're inadequate saddo's but at least you can shove your socks down the front to pretend you've got something worth showing off down there. Remember, there are Brits out there and we don't want to see your middle wicket. Remember too that we play cricket. And with a suitable batting implement to hand one of us might just treat you to an aggressive cover drive. Be warned.

Ghosts of Spain

As a child I first visited Spain in the late 1960's. General Franco was Caudillo (Leader) and I recall that travel reps' advice to British tourists would include warnings not to mess with the Guardia Civil, not to joke about the tricornio - their three-cornered hat - and absolutely do not be rude or disrespectful about Franco himself. I returned to Spain as a teenager in 1977, two years after Franco's death and the gift shop shelves still full of plastic bulls, flamenco dancer dolls, sombreros and donkeys were now joined by gaudy souvenirs such as playing cards featuring topless women and little rubber toys which, when you squeezed them, would produce an oversized phallus. Even then, to a dumb British teenager, it was clear that Franco's death had been the catalyst for breakneck change in the national psyche. So why, in a country where history confronts you around almost every corner, do we know so little about Spain under Franco's dictatorship and the Civil War which put him in power four decades earlier?

Ghosts of Spain - Travels Through a Country's Hidden Past is a book, published in 2006, by Giles Tremlett, historian, author and journalist based in Madrid and provides a fascinating insight into the country post-Franco. If, like me, you want to learn more about Spain then I would venture that the book is essential and enjoyable reading.

Federico Garcia Lorca - Spanish poet (1898 to 1936): In Spain the dead are more alive than the dead of any other place in the world: their profile wounds like the edge of a barber's razor.

As Tremlett says, "Spain has a wealth of stories to tell....the story does not go stale either, for Spain changes at breakneck speed". Certainly the transicion from dictatorship to democracy in just three years was nothing short of remarkable. "The Spanish people, relieved, embraced democracy in record time, consciously fleeing their own brutal past and burying it in silence....which it did by smothering the past, an unwritten el pacto de olvido, the pact of forgetting. But scratch beneath the surface and this silence hid more than just fear or shame, it hid the fact that Spaniards did not, still do not, agree on the past. The argument disguised by this silence remains that Spain has two versions of who was to blame for the Civil War. There remains two Spains. If the transicion was a success, it was because Spaniards made a supreme effort to find consensus. That effort was driven, to a large degree, by the Civil War ghosts still haunting so many Spanish households".

The book covers, amongst other things, How the Bikini Saved Spain (the development of tourism), the characteristics and claims of the peoples of Catalonia, Euskadi (Basque Country) and Galicia, the Mean Streets of Flamenco and the art of enchufe (being "plugged in"). It is a great read and offers Brits an insight into Spanish national and regional characteristics and differences and how Franco's unwitting legacy was to ensure that current generations understand old conflicts are best resolved with words, not violence.

Some Like it Hot!

This is what you should be doing in June and July. Kenny putting at the
Footballers Golf Classic, La Manga. Another great image by Will Knight.

Following that unfortunate fridge door incident in Wuhan last January and the resultant freeze on life as we know it since, at least some of the important things in life are de-frosting and getting ready for consumption. Yes, football is back, albeit not quite as we know it. And Spanish football is no exception and by "Spanish football" I mean real Spanish football. Yes, Segunda B and Tercera divisions are back, at least for 88 of the total 440 teams who are now to be involved in the play-offs following the premature ending of their season back in March. At the cessation of this season's play-offs, four Segunda B teams from the four Segunda B Grupos will have been promoted to Spanish football's Segunda division, just the one division below La Liga. Sound straightforward enough? Yeah.

For those of you old enough to remember Soap, a night time American sitcom series which ran 1977 to 1981 and basically parodied other daytime soaps, each episode opened with a brief summary of the convoluted storyline ending, "Confused? you won't be, after this week's episode of Soap". Well trust me, as far as Segunda B play-offs are concerned once you have read this you will be confused. So this is how the four promotions will be determined.

The top 4 teams from each of the 4 Grupos qualify for the play-offs, i.e. 16 teams in total. This year, courtesy of the Chinese, the usual two-legged affairs are replaced by single-leg games which will be played behind closed doors at five neutral grounds in the region of Andalucia (southern Spain) between the 18th and the 26th of July. Yes, that is indeed the hottest part of Spain at the hottest time of the year when anyone with half a grain of sense should be on their sun loungers or playing golf with Kenny or sat in the shade enjoying a tasty beer or in fact doing anything else other than playing or watching football. 

The "nerve centre" of the Segunda B play-off competition is to be Marbella where three of the five neutral grounds are based, the other two being in Malaga and Algeciras. One of the 16 teams competing in this year's play-offs is, wait for it, Marbella FC and all their games will be held in (have you guessed it yet?) Marbella!. Hmm. One can only rue the apparent absence of any other suitable stadiums, in the Andalucia region, in which to host a behind-closed-doors match and avoid the potential for charges of favoritism and/or unfair advantage. Anyway.........

The 4 Grupo winners are drawn against each other and the winners from these two games are promoted. Our local team FC Cartagena is one such Grupo winner so they have the chance to gain promotion with just the one match. Two of the four promotion places are now sorted.

The 4 Grupo runners-up (including Marbella FC - booooo ) are drawn against three of the 4 Grupo fourth placed teams (to prevent a runner-up and fourth place from the same Grupo playing each other) to provide a total of four matches.

The 4 Grupo third-places teams are drawn against each other in another two matches.

The winners of the above six matches then go into a draw with the 2 losing Grupo winners (remember them?) to produce another four matches, the winners of which are then drawn against each other for two final matches, the winners of which take the remaining two of the original four promotion places.

Confused? You will be! And I haven't even started yet to look at how the 72 play-off contenders from the Tercera division are supposed to get promoted to Segunda B's Grupos.

Locally we are of course rooting for FC Cartagena to reclaim a place back in the Segunda division which, if they succeed, will probably mean that I have to extend my definition of real football in Spain to now include the second tier. At the end of the day, it is my blog!

Covid-related protocols for the total 14 Segunda B behind-closed-doors play-off matches will include a minute's silence before kick-off in memory of Covid victims and their families, presumably followed by another 90 minutes' silence as the matches are being played behind closed doors. The ball will be sanitized before kick-off and then re-sanitized before every throw-in although not after the goalkeeper has touched the ball because he will have his gloves on. Deliberate handball will be deemed an automatic red card offence and the offending player made to self-isolate for 14 days thereafter. And finally, congratulations to Marbella FC on their upcoming promotion.

I need a beer after that and I only have 28 days to now get my head around the Tercera divisions play-offs involving 72 teams! Wish me luck.

The Magnificent Seven

All that's left following last night's tasting.

Who says you can't find good beer in Spain? I went to the EuroSpar in Cabo and found these seven beauties competing for my attention; La Salve Munich, Cerveza1906 Reserva Especial, Damm Complot IPA, San Miguel Manila, Cruzcampo Andalusian IPA, Arriaca Imperial Red IPA and Ambar IPA. But are they really magnificent? To find out, El Real Thing assembled its own magnificent seven tasting team consisting Trev, Pat, James, Ali and Emma alongside Mrs C and myself to ensure a tasting team balance in terms of beer nose and experience.

Following initial pleasantries (regrettably somewhat marred by our guests insisting that they be allowed drinks ahead of the formal tasting session - philistines) I took the team through the etiquette for the evening and advised them that, for the purposes of tasting result legitimacy, we would be utilising the international VQI, Q, OK and S marking standards (Very Quaffable Indeed, Quaffable, Okay and Shite). All seemed happy and thus we proceeded.

First on the agenda was Bilbao brewery La Salve's Munich ale with 6.2% ABV, currently on offer at EuroSpar at 1 Euro a bottle. Not too much detail in the tasting notes, the beer is described as having a caramel aroma and the malty taste of cloves. And to be fair, the tasting didn't really prompt too much more to be said. Obviously, one doesn't want to peak too early at a beer tasting and we certainly didn't. The scores on the doors were three Q's and four OK's. Moving on.

Next was Cerveza1906's Reserva Especial with a 6.5% ABV. Tasting notes describe the beer as having "aromas of roasted malt with soft notes of caramel and coffee. The hops appear on the nose with slight floral and herbal nuances. In the mouth, the toasted sensations predominate". This was much more like it! A real nice freshness about it although James detected the hint of a sour back taste but he still ranked it as a Q being one of four Q's in addition to three VQI's. He also wasn't too keen on the piece of glass from the bottle he found at the bottom of his glass but that was almost certainly down to my inadequacy with the bottle opener as I was shortly to prove beyond any reasonable doubt.

We then moved on to Damm's weirdly named Complot IPA with 6.6% ABV. Complot apparently translates to conspiracy or plot. Complot IPA - bad name. Conspiracy IPA - good name. A limited edition beer which production is determined by availability and quality of the hop harvest in and around Prades near Tarragona. Described as an intense beer with hints of tropical and citrus fruits, aromas of ripe fruit and tropical citrus that reinforce its freshness. Well, I bloody loved it and carried on with three more after the tasting session was over. Emma didn't like it at all but there again she isn't really a beer drinker. I was one of three VQI's. No prizes for guessing who awarded the one S. The rest of the markings were made up with one OK and two Q's so this particular beer really split the field. And I very nearly repeated my feat of six years back when I split my thumb, severing a tendon when attempting to open a slippery bottle of vino. On this occasion, I left the top of the bottle in the now removed bottle top and the resulting jagged edge bottle viciously attacked me, drawing some blood before I managed to wrestle it to the ground. They say a poor workman always blames his tools. I was taken off bottle opening duties at this juncture. 

We were getting into the swing of things by now and next on the tasting agenda was San Miguel's Manila ale with 5.5% ABV. Described as being a "bridge between two beer worlds", it is an IPL (India Pale Lager) with an "intense hoppy character with a wide variety of nuances, among which herbal, floral and resin aromas stand out, with hints of tropical fruit. In the background flavours of caramel and roasted malts are appreciated". It seemed to me that such a description was basically an attempt to cram in as many different possible flavours as might potentially appeal to the beer-loving reader. Interestingly, the tasting notes finished "persistence is light and dry" which suggests that you have to give it a chance. Following on from the previous Conspiracy IPA, anyone from San Miguel reading this might think that there is a bit of a conspiracy going on to bad mouth their beer because we did it no favours going from Conspiracy to Manila. On initial taste, the Manila beer was heading for seven S's. But, persistence was indeed the key and the Manila definitely grew on five of us, ending up with two Q's, three OK's and two S's. I still have one bottle left over in the fridge and it won't be there too long, trust me.

We were really getting going now and the next beer on the list was one I was very excited about, having had a sneaky couple myself a few days earlier and thoroughly enjoying them. Cruzcampo's Andalusian IPA with ABV 5.5%. Cruzcampo really do need to sack whoever designed and scripts their website. I suspect that the designer has produced something that other designers will appreciate but Joe Punter won't. It is a navigation nightmare. And as for the narrative. There were no tasting notes for their Andalusion IPA but what was there was pretencious twaddle. "Enjoy our IPA.......that you drink with a view of the Alcazaba......that you enjoy while smelling the orange blossom.......(a perfect drink to) accompany Quinoa Tabbouleh, avocado salad and semi-cured cheese platter". Fortunately and coincidentally, just as I was pouring for the tasters the cheese board did indeed appear at the table so you can't say we didn't try to do more justice to the beer than the website did. However, amongst the tasting team were three participants who apparently have long held and extremely negative views about Cruzcampo beers generally so the cheeseboard gambit was never going to win them round. Suffice to say that I loved their Andalusion IPA so mine was the one VQI. The beer scored two Q's, three S's and a couldn't-quite-make-the mind-up one SOK. Clearly I shall be visiting the Alcazaba and smelling the orange blossom on my own.

Fighting off belligerent and violent beer bottles aside, now was the moment when we should have considered paying danger money to the beer tasting team with the arrival of Arriaca's Imperial Red IPA with 8.5% ABV. To be honest, I had lost all sense of smell by this time with a sneezing fit imminent but the tasting notes described aromas of "roasted malts, caramel and toffee balanced with the powerful aroma of American hops" and the rest of the team concurred the description was spot on. The flavour is described as "medium bodied, with a strong malt character and notes of caramel, pastries (?), toffee and red fruits that balance with the hop flavour, giving way to a slightly bitter finish. Easy to drink, its 8.5% goes unnoticed".Frankly, and it could have been the late hour or the previous five beers but it was a bit too much for some. James thought it tasted of a rich Christmas pud and he prefers his Christmas pud in solid, not liquid, form. Emma was already gearing up for her third S mark of the night and Jane similarly was unimpressed. Pat loved it. This is the kind of beer that proves you have to work at liking beer. Fortunately five of the magnificent seven beer tasting team have been doing just that for many years and the 8.5% Imperial Red IPA racked up one VQI, two Q's, one OK and three S's. I want now to take you back to the statement "its 8.5% goes unnoticed". We really don't concur with that statement. In fact, we suspect that pretty much everything happening around you will go unnoticed if you quaff too much of this bad boy.

Finally, the last of our magnificent seven beers was the Ambar IPA with 5.7% ABV. I was particularly looking forward to the girls' reactions because this beer, to me, tastes like a beer equivalent of a white wine. I know......sounds daft doesn't it. The tasting notes describe the beer as having "a tolerable bitterness proposal that stands out for the complexity of flavours and aromas where floral, citrus and tropical fruit notes predominate. Medium bodied, pale in colour and dense foam, Ambar IPA will dazzle lovers of intense, nuanced flavours". Now, I'm not actually a big fan of this beer because of the wine(y) after-taste but it went down a storm with everyone else. The tasting notes had proven the most closest-to-reality of the night and all present agreed about the wine after-taste and all, except me, really liked it. The love for Ambar IPA is reflected in the markings with two VQI's, four Q's and just the one OK (me obviously).

So that was it, the magnificent seven beers tasted by the magnificent seven tasters. Or was it? As regular readers of this blog will know (basically that's me and Mrs C) Mahou IPA has become my main Spanish lock-down drinking companion. Invigorated by their first time experience of a formal beer tasting event, our guests were now demanding more and they knew I would have my Mahou IPA stashed away somewhere. Clearly, much of the earlier etiquette lesson was lost on them (probably Arriaca's 8.5% beer responsible for that) and, to be fair, it would have been rude not to so beer no.8 arrived in the shape of my previously stashed Mahou IPA. By this time the assembled throng couldn't give two hoots about any tasting notes but, 24 hours after the event, I can tell you that I would have told them this new beer has "an intense flavour with just the right point of bitterness, designed to be liked by everyone". And it was. Sweeping the board with four VQI's and three Q's.

Then I realised we still had a few of the magnificent seven beers left in the cool box. Bingo! There's nothing quite like a slurred setting of the world to rights in the warmth of a Spanish evening with your good buddies. So thank you to my good buddies Ali, Emma, Trev, James and Pat and thank you also to my co-conspirator, the lovely Mrs C. Between us, we were the magnificent seven. And will the magnificent seven ride again soon? I hope so. Who says you can't find good beer in Spain?

Tyris Tours

Tyris Tours could be a great name for a travel agency but with the Covid-19 pandemic restrictions currently curtailing freedom of travel, a trip to Valencia is unfortunately out of the question. So, in a world exclusive, Mrs C and I bring to you Tyris Tours, a tour of Valencia brewer Cerveza Tyris' bottled beers (well, four of them, the supermarket didn't have any more) for our subjective assessment as to whether the beers live up to the claims of their excellent website at https://www.cervezatyris.com/. Now, I am no website whiz kid or guru but I like this website. Crisp, clear, easy to navigate and leaves you wanting more - let's hope that their beer can be similarly described. Tyris (Cerveza not Tours) appears to have emerged from a European voyage of beer discovery in the mid noughties by the brewery principals Gonzalo Abia and Dani Vara. Equally passionate about both craft beer and their home city of Valencia, the website refers to an authenticity, creativity and irreverence to their beers which sounds great but is it setting themselves up for a fall and Mrs C for disappointment? Notwithstanding these concerns, we are buoyed by their slogan "Great beer, no rubbish" and we're definitely approaching the tasting with an enthusiastic and positive attitude. 

In another first for the El Real Thing blog, the following comments will emerge in conjunction with the tasting itself AND with live updates via Twitter. You lucky buggers.

Under strict tasting conditions, we first sampled Tyris Original, a blonde ale with a 4.5% ABV. Described as having a soft flavour, with touches of malt and fruit, fresh and floral with a dry and bitter sweet final taste. We found it to be soft and inoffensive which initially makes it sound a bit boring but this is a beer which needs a chance to do itself justice and you become more aware of the delicate citrus tones as you sup it. Mrs C still to be convinced but it's a definite thumbs up from me. A perfect Spanish hot afternoon refreshment and a good start to this exercise.

Next we moved on to Tyris IPA, the strongest of the beers on test with a 6.0% ABV. Described as a powerful and tasty beer, super aromatic hops with citrus, herbal and resinous notes (not too sure what that last bit means though). Apparently it was a bronze medal winner in the Barcelona Beer Challenge 2019. So then, first mouthful and.............it's bloody lovely. Really lovely. Fruit and caramel hints immediately apparent. The label states "Deliciosa Mente Amarga" (basically "deliciously bitter") and it is. Mrs C is impressed. A perfect Spanish, any time, any day refreshment. Yep, this is going well.

The IPA is a hard act to follow. Next is the VIPA, a session English IPA with a flower aroma, citric notes, described as fruity and herbaceous. It has a 3.8% ABV but is actually more bitter in taste than the IPA and, as with Tyris Original, you need to give it a chance. But by sup number three I am won over. I could mistake this for a pale ale and that ain't no criticism. I like my session ales and would be hard pressed to choose between this and the IPA. Mrs C on the other hand gives it to the 6% IPA, but that's 'cos she's well hard. Who's idea was this? I really wanna give 'em a hug.

Finally we are tasting the Tyris Trigo wheat beer. This is an interesting beer as it emerged from a collaboration with Danish brewer People Like Us with workers with Aspergers and Autism. It is a solidarity beer with part of the profits utilised to finance charitable projects so the more you drink the more you're allowed to feel good about yourself and I certainly do. Described as sweet, fresh and with an intense aroma, the citrus, fruity (banana) and honey touches appear together, with the wheat base in the background. ABV 4.5% means that it's not to be messed with but the taste is really smooth. For me, the honey is most evident whilst Mrs C is picking up on the banana (no comment). In fact she reckons this is her favourite of the four beers tested. This is going really, really well. I love the world and you, dear reader, are almost certainly my best mate, apart from Mrs C who is really, really my really best mate but you know what I mean. Give us a kiss.

Great beer, no rubbish. That's what the https://www.cervezatyris.com/ website stated and they weren't wrong. Have I mentioned it's a great website? It's really great (really, really) with an English language version and they really, really want you to visit their brewery, and their pub and to join their club. And as soon as this bloody lockdown is bloody well over I am bloody well going to do all three. 

For the eagle eyed amongst you, that is indeed a bottle of 61 Deep at the back of the Tyris beers in the image. It is there as a tribute to the Cerveza Tyris beers because they did indeed leave us wanting more and as we didn't have any more we treated ourselves to the 61 Deep instead. Really.

Close the Fridge Door!

The Chinese may be getting a bit of stick at the moment over the Coronavirus pandemic but at least I have them to thank for the extension to my current stint in Spain. Nine weeks into our intended four-week trip we should now in fact be somewhere in France, in the car, heading back to Spain for another three months. But thanks to someone in Wuhan who didn't close the fridge door properly, we're now cutting out the middle man and enjoying staying put for the foreseeable. It all sounds rather good doesn't it, nine weeks in Spain with loads more to go. But for seven weeks we have been confined to barracks as part of the Spanish lockdown restrictions which have been far more strict than those imposed in the UK and policed with a vigour one might readily expect from the Guardia Civil. Trust me these guys wouldn't stand idly by and watch whilst Extinction Rebellion dug up your front lawn. 

For seven weeks the only legitimate reasons for leaving one's abode have been trips for essential shopping (basically being food supermarkets and pharmacies), taking the rubbish out and taking the dog for a walk. And that's it. Exercise? Nah, forget it. Going out together? Don't be silly. Honestly, we've been fighting over who gets to take the half-full bin bags round to the bins just so that we can legitimately set foot out of the house. In fact we've barely got anything left in the house as we've thrown pretty much everything away in the desire for an occasional few minutes of freedom. And pity the couples where only the husband can drive and which has led to supermarkets full of bewildered blokes wandering haplessly from aisle to aisle.

I even considered buying a dog.

So after seven weeks imagine the sense of relief, nay euphoria, which accompanied the partial relaxation of lockdown restrictions meaning that families can leave their houses together (albeit not for the purpose of exercise - Covid will apparently get you if you go jogging in pairs!?!?). With differing time slots throughout the day for (accompanied) children, the over 70's and everyone else, our first opportunity for freedom fell between 06.00 and 10.00 on Saturday morning. Obviously when you're in Spain 06.00 hours doesn't actually exist but at 08.00 I was out of the house and - I am embarrassed to admit - I ran. Now, I don't do running. Never have. But I ran. Such was the joy of being on the other side of my front door. 

And I wasn't alone. People running. On their bikes. Out with their dogs. Couples out walking together. Everyone was just happy/ pleased/ relieved to be outside, enjoying the early morning fresh air and the beautiful scenery that this part of Spain has to offer. For me and Mrs C our legitimate freedom extends to just one hour a day during the morning hours as above or between 20.00 and 23.00 in the evening. But it's a step (jog?) in the right direction and the Spanish government has announced a provisional 6 to 8 weeks timetable for further relaxations. 

Now we will all have our own thoughts as to the rights and wrongs of the lockdown restrictions and the way that national government(s) is handling the situation but that is what they are there for. We elect a government to govern and they are ultimately accountable at the ballot box. I am a guest here in Spain so I respect what the Spanish government is doing to protect its people. That respect extends to the Guardia Civil with whom I recently had a conversation and (reluctantly) concluded that I wasn't going to convince them that Warburtons crumpets represented an essential food purchase justifying a nice stroll to the British supermarket. So I went without but I still got a nice stroll.

It wouldn't have been difficult to go a little bit stir crazy during these past seven weeks but I will be the first to admit that Mrs C and I have had it relatively easy and of course the beautiful Spanish weather has certainly played its part in allowing us to remain fairly sanguine about the whole affair. And after years of (yes, I know this sounds a bit pathetic) my struggling with the nondescript Spanish beers typically at my disposal, the local supermarkets do now stock some rather more tasty options with Mahou IPA having proved to be a particular ally during the lockdown.

From an El Real Thing perspective, there has obviously been no football to enjoy, be it Spanish or English, so I can only take solace in the fact that Wednesday are unbeaten since 7th March and Liverpool still haven't won the Premiership title. And apart from that, whether you work in a virus research lab in Wuhan or you just like to keep your beers cold in the Spanish heat, always remember................close the bloody fridge door!